No longer are we waiting for that special moment. Hell, I don’t know how to make fucking special. Flowers, candles, shitty music feels wrong. Those are lies because we are not romantic people. We are the children of evil. I am a man with blood on my hands while Mia lives with shame in her heart. Broken by life, we can’t lie to each other. This realization is when I understand.
Mia knows me. For her, I’m not Gator. I am not the scars or the fearsome look or the body women drool over. I am not a killer or a man to be redeemed. I’m just me. Failed and fucked up. I am ruined by life, yet live on to ruin others. I am complicated and simple. I am her savior and just the kid trapped in the swamp with monsters. I am everything and nothing. Mia knows me in a way no one ever has and this is what makes our kiss special.
I know her too. Mia is ruined, but I see the light flickering stronger in her every day we’re together. Wanting to survive and flourish, she can be anything to others, but she’s real to me. I see the child crying in the dark and the whore hiding in her head while servicing evil men. I know her and she is perfect in her flawed fucked up way. She’s everything I need to make life mean something.